I would like to introducing Ian Visible to the APA community. Just a heads up, his name is a pen name.
I’m not a SEAL, but I play one on TV.
I started swimming and wrestling in High School, never with much success. Being over six feet tall and weighing less than 148 lbs (I’m the runt of the litter) made for a perennial JV wrestler. At best I was a marginal swimmer, and barely qualified for state championships in the 100m butterfly. Needless to say, a rather ignominious athletic start.
Being the emaciated and emasculated male that I was, I went to art school for college. This further ingrained the soy infused, metrosexual, red meat avoiding mentality of the man I had become. So what is a 20 year old, 150 lb sissy with an art school degree to do? Join the Army!
At US Army Basic Training I came to find out I was pretty good at this “solider” thing. I begin to see a correlation between hard work and expected outcome. However given that physical training in the regular army is based upon the APFT (push ups, situps, run), it’s easy to see how being lightweight equates to a higher score. As such, nothing could assuage my fear of getting “bulky” or “too big.” So up until now I haven’t been inside of a gym, except by accident. Those times when I did find myself lost in a gym; I would have done some lat pull downs or some preacher curls, you know, for the gurls.
It wasn’t until I was in Afghanistan that I starting lifting weights, and even then it was just the beach muscles and bodybuilding splits. Not a single squat was done. When I made the move into the reconnaissance community, I learned the value of being bigger, stronger, faster and smarter. Being a skinny 175 lbs and lugging around 100+ lbs of gear does not make a fun day. Thus beget me love of thine squatz.
About this time my heart had some “technical malfunctions” sending me to the ER and later heart surgery. Three months later I graduated Sniper School and spent the next year getting bigger, stronger and faster. I tried my hand at one of the silly competitions the Army has every year. In my first competition I tore the cartilage in the rib cage, separating my ribs and tearing the intercostal muscle. After winning the local and regional levels I went to nationals. I returned home from my lose at nationals 20 lbs lighter with a stress fracture in my right leg, LCL pain and a permanently displaced rib.
My road to recovery continues to this day; focusing on weightlifting, strongman, reading voraciously, offending everyone with my shorts, visiting exotic locations to meet new people and “say hello,” butchering Arnold quotes, occasionally portraying a Navy SEAL on TV and generally making a nuisance of myself. I also started my own gym, to save money believe it or not, entitled “Wolf PAC”. I wanted to name it Wolf SAC, but got overruled. Wolf SAC is a way better name.
And I didn’t even swear, not one damned time.
Long walks on the beach, rucksack required.
Candlelight dinners, consisting of delicious mammals.
Meeting new friends; while squatting, in inappropriately short shorts.
6’2” 205 lbs
US Army Sniper
Watched every episode of every Star Trek series.